so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
