Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Shame - the story of my life.
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