i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
