**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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