Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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