So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
