My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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