Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
