everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
