You really coming over, don't trick.
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
