I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
