office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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