I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
