don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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