Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
