Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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