You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize