i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
