I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
