walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
