I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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