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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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