My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
