So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
