Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
