Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize