it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
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My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
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He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
be right there i have to get my cape
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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