just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
