Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
