Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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