Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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