She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Randomize
