Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize