The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
