i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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