I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
