shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
