We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize