The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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