We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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