i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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