well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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