My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i came on her dog
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Naked. naked and bneed help.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
