She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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