We won't sleep together?
I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
