yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
