Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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