so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
