i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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