Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
