I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
