you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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