THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
