I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize