Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You can't special order awesome
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
All the doctor said was why
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
