so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
