Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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